NOTE: I Posted this in early January (2010) as a theory, simply titled: My Theory On Divorce, which is radically different to what is taught and practiced among most ‘Christians,’ today, but this is something I’ve believed for many years.
For now, I’m going to keep it titled as being a theory: though, so far it has withstood scrutiny. I believe this to be fact. Personally, if I was unbiblically married, I’d get out immediately! “Flee sexual immorality!” (1 Cor. 6:18)
Who do we think we are to disobey God in these major ways?
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Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled:
but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
Until now, Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage is a subject I’ve avoided mostly because I haven’t gotten any specific revelations from God on this subject, like I have many others. For example: how tithing is unbiblical, who really goes to heaven, ‘Christians’ James-3 cursing people, how ‘ONE’ can happen (we should be ONE! – John 17), etc. — I’ve hit these subjects hard on this site. But a commenter brought up this subject, so I thought it would be good to discuss it in its own post.
I’ve decided to present my view as a theory that perhaps others and the Holy Spirit will then confirm or clarify. As always, comments are welcome, and also as always, you can be anonymous if you’d like.
There are so many people in a quandry. First, so many have gotten married without making sure their spouse was God’s will, and some pastors are happy to oblige.
I know one pastor who said from the pulpit that God doesn’t care who we marry. Really? Really?? [I actually walked out, the first time ever, horrified because I had already seen some of the devastation of this in his life and ministry…] James 4 says:
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow let’s go into this city, and spend a year there, trade, and make a profit.” 14 Whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. 15 For you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will both live, and do this or that.” 16 But now you glory in your boasting. All such boasting is evil. 17 To him therefore who knows to do good, and doesn’t do it, to him it is sin.
Isn’t who we marry more important than where we live? Isn’t who we marry part of what James calls “this or that?” Aren’t we supposed to be led by the Holy Spirit? Isn’t He supposed to lead us into all truth?
Our heavenly Father does care. He didn’t leave us as orphans. We ought to say, “if the Lord wills…” — “Your will be done.” But many have married without making sure, and now, many wish they had….
But that’s not the main issue I’d like to discuss here; though, feel free to comment on this if you’d like. I’d like to present some ideas on this issue:
What if a ‘Christian’ marries one who is unbiblically divorced? Should he/she stay ‘married’? Are they even married in God’s eyes? Can they then marry (though the world would call it remmariage)?
Jesus said twice in Matthew that whoever marries someone who is unbiblically divorced is committing adultery:
Matthew 5:31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ 32 but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.
Matthew 19:3 Pharisees came to him, testing him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” 4 He answered, “Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ 6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” 7 They asked him, “Why then did Moses command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. 9 I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”
In today’s false, God-forgives-everything-and-it’s-okay mentality, many ‘Christians’ just think it’s okay to stay ‘married,’ even though Jesus calls what they are doing adultery. They are not truly married in God’s eyes no matter what the pastor who married them said, or the certificate they got from the state says.
Lastblast said this in this comment:
What I found in God’s Word is that many “marriages” in the church today are not “marriages” to God, but are adulterous unions—–unions He NEVER joined as one flesh. What He showed me in His Word is that what we have in the church today is an unprecedented amount of husband/wife swapping……………brethren who are defrauding brethren. Brethren who are not “having their own wives/husbands”, but are taking other’s wives/husbands. What we have are pastors who somehow are teaching that once one punches through that sin gauntlet (whosoever divorces their spouse and marries another commits adultery and whosoever marries one divorced commits adultery) that “voila” they are not [I think he meant now - ed.] joined as ONE FLESH by God.
Where can we find such a teaching in God’s Word? He calls such relationships, adultery (having UNLAWFUL relations with someone who is NOT their spouse). How can one commit adultery AND be married in the sight of God? They can’t. The teaching that once you confess this sin, it is then ok with God to remain in the same relationship is another fallacy. Where do we EVER find in God’s word that confession changes the nature of an illicit relationship? …
So what should one do who is in this situation: legally, but unbiblically ‘married’ to someone who wasn’t biblically qualified to remarry?
First, I think it’s fairly easy to see that they shouldn’t stay married. for they are living in sin, no matter what today’s preachers say. But then, can they rightly marry in God’s eyes someone who is biblically qualified to marry, now that they are legally divorced from a marriage that God never recognized as a marriage?
I think so [providing they seek God to know it this person is the one, as I stated above. This is far more important than where we live. God wants in on these decisions. He wants us to be happy and fulfilled! — not messing around as Fatherless orphans, trying this and that] because in God’s eyes they were never married. They were just committing adultery.
I think these people are Biblically qualified to marry, because they really never were.
It’s time to get out of unbiblical, adulteress marriages. Hebrews 13:4 —
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.